Happy New Years btw.
In the US military, an A-school is the initial training duty station after bootcamp. The purpose is to train cadets to perform the job they enlisted for. The duration of these trainings could be anywhere from a few weeks to a year and a half.
So a potentially long time paired up with the sudden liberty after bootcamp creates an effect where people tend to bond fairly quickly. Hell, with the monetary incentive of spousal pay, sometime those relationships prematurely (stupidly) evolve into marriage. But all good things come to and end.
Because oftentimes one can never be sure where they’ll end up after A-school, as per their orders, these relationships end up being temporary or tentative. A good shipmate of mine once coined it as “base love” which serves a greater purpose than what it seems to at face value. Refer to the quote below.
It’s better to have someone as your emotional anchor for a while, even if you can damn-near bet it won’t last. These training bases can render long nights of study, lots of tough moment, which can exacerbate stress in times of grim life event. It really is better to have someone.
I once had an A-school crush, it’s someone I still think of today. Occasionally in the grocery store I’ll see her favourite brand of chocolate or yogurt. The girl with the dinosaur shoes and the shark lunchbox. The kinda crush that makes you weak in the knees, that makes days feel like weeks. The kinda woman that you feel powerful standing next to. A girl that makes your sky more than blue. You can’t forget you because her name is engraved in your mind. It’s actually kind of a curse, especially when any person with remotely similar features reminds you of her or becomes a stock doppelganger.
Thankfully I can say claim that she wasn’t a missed connection; that I shot my shot. We went out a few times in town: lunch, Sunday coffee, the movies. There was never enough time. I got desperate and made the wrong move. She didn’t feel the same way I did, and eventually, time ran out and she was gone.
When I realized I’d probably never see her again, I conceded that all I had left were the memories. More optimistically, I was grateful to her that I did share so many fun and warm moments, which gave me comfort during my own times of loss and hurt. Like the theme of this very site, I had to overcome so many obstacles, fight against the currents of circumstantial adversity. When none of my leaders advocated for me, tried to remedy my situation or get me help to make it through the language course, I had to rage my heart and rise up through my ashes. I can assuredly say that nobody held my hand or gave me a second chance, but I did have a select few supporting me and I’ll always be grateful.
Some shipmates and friends I know did in fact end up with their A-school crush or base love other. Maybe the effect is only sensationalized when you can’t be with them. I only have well wishes for the girl with the dinosaur shoes and the shark lunchbox. If it can’t be me, I hope it’s someone else keeping her warm at night, taking her to the UK for that golden retriever festival she dreamed about, and just making memories. The only thing I’d ask from her is a prayer for my broken heart. Yea it’s corny, but don’t forget who the author is.
SN Reed 
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